Well, at least I have an internet connection.

I had big plans for this post. I was going to detail all of the wonderful thanksgiving concoctions I had planned for dinner. I had plans, oh yes I did. There would be wild rice and cranberry apple stuffing. There would be homemade rosemary scalloped potatoes. There would be green bean casserole with real home made mushroom soup, maybe even some spinach phyllo puffs. There would be pumpkin cheesecake. It was gunna be good folks.

It is approximately 8:32am at the Bradley International Airport, precisely 2 hours after my non-stop flight to Phoenix left the gate without me. The original plan was to get in at 10:10 Arizona Time, cook my family a thanksgiving dinner, and spend the day relaxing, photographing and seeing people I haven't seen in months.

The best laid plans, well...

I'm in a bad mood, bored and need to vent, so I'll tell the story here. If you have a weak constitution, I beg of you, close this internet window now.

11:00pm Wed night. I let Tori out into the backyard.

11:30pm Wed night. Greg and I realize she's not there. Thus follows more than an hour of frantic yelling, calling, cajoling, whistling, and running in 40 degree rain up and down the deserted blocks of New Haven. "Tori! Tori!!!" I wonder what the neighbors think.

12:30am Tori is located. She comes leaping with glee out of the bushes of a neighbor's house. Oh, she can't wait to come inside. She cannot wait to jump all over us and come inside.

12:31am Rachael realizes the horrendous, gag-inducing smell is coming from her dog.

12:32am Further inspection clarifies that the smell is coming both from Tori's mouth, as well as a streak of, erhm, something, down her front. Whatever it was, it was a foul and freaky funk.

12:35am Rachael realizes that merely glancing her sleeve against the dog has transferred the funk to her. Rachael now smells beyond belief.

12:36am Greg declares no dog in house

12:40am Rachael and Greg proceed to rub dog down with towels, spritz her with shampoo, pour water down her front and scrub her with dishwashing liquid, all the while gagging down the indescribably hideous smell and trying not to think of nausea in the 40 degree freezing rain. (I really can't do this smell justice in words. It was bad. It was really gag-inducing)

1:20am Tori goes in her crate so that Rachael and Greg "sleep". Rather, Greg falls asleep and Rachael stares at the ceiling, listening to the sharp scratches of Tori's nails on plastic and her regular cries, growls, and pants as she endures a very upset tummy

2:00am Sounds of throwing up

2:01am Sounds of dog eating throw up

2:05am Smell starts wafting into the bedroom

I'll break narrative at this point. I got up. I spent the next hour scrubbing the carpet and the kennel, disposing of ruined toys, washing mats and scrubbing down her front. I got to watch Tori vomit again, and again and again. I got to be a part of the vomit.

I'm talking projectile, people.

And imagine, if she smelled so bad, what the thing that was making her smell so bad smelled like. There was no way around it: if I didn't save our rugs and other household items then, they would never be usable again, and I'm talking 2 huge 9x12 area rugs that required saving. This had to be done and done thoroughly, or we would live with the funk forever. I finished around 3am.

In order to make my flight (my non-stop!) flight from Hartford to Phoenix we had to leave the house at 4:15am. I set the alarm for 4am. Everything was packed, poised and ready. 1 hour of sleep; I could do it.

I slept through the alarm. I missed my flight by exactly an hour. And now, instead of leaving at 6:32 and arriving at 10:10, I will be leaving bradley at 10:10 and arriving in phoenix, after my connection, at 4:40pm.

Happy thanksgiving. I think I will save the thanksgiving recipes for another day.